Being the best man

Being the best man can be tough. This is my second attempt at doing at and I ended up about 70% happy with the words I prepared.

Blah Blah.

He's a good boy - he always wants to make a good impression. Just five minutes ago he offered me a twenty if I'd slip in the fact that he's better hung than a parliament.


So as you know he's not always been the most organised of fellows. I'm reminded of a couple of examples. . I can think back to doing A-Level Theatre Studies with Jared. Despite having around two years to watch and make notes on a play of our choice time seemed to sneak past, in fact the night before our final exam came and we still hadn't managed it. Whilst he may be disorganised no one could accuse Jared of not being industrious. We scoured the local papers and discovered the one play on that night within an eighty mile radius. It was in Taunton. Like so many times before he pilled up (Aplogies, that's a U - pulled up) in his two-tone purple Fiesta and we set off up the motorway. Dark clouds gathered immediately and the heavens opened. Within a few miles the windscreen wipers stopped working, well to be more accurate I think they actually fell off. I can remember looking at him with a solemn expression from the passenger seat, he nodded gravely and then said

"It's okay, I brought this"

he then proceeded to hand me a tea-towel. I spent the next forty miles leaning out of the passenger window, dragging that towel furiously across the windscreen and whilst I can't say with certainty that he swerved more than was necessary, he certainly seemed to take some pleasure from the situation.

My next memory stems from our last holiday. Like many people Jared often needs space to work through an idea. Sometimes that space can be internal and sometimes it must come from the external. I could tell he had something on his mind. though I had no idea what it might be. We had one of those slightly odd conversations

"We need to go to Cornwall"
"Okay"
"You're driving. We should leave tomorrow, in the morning"

we set off up the coast to north devon. I forget exactly where we stopped, but we found a camp site, pitched the tents and walked down to the bars on the waterfront. A few beers and chasers later and we were enthusing the locals with some truly terrible sing along versions of the jukebox pickings. Jared was clearly starting to loosen up, despite seemingly checking his mobile phones - he had two then, every couple of minutes.

"I need to be more drunk"
"Okay"

A couple of rounds and songs later and the place was closing. We walked the full length of the beach, and with each sandy step I could feel Jared preparing himself to tell me what was on his mind. Our pace slowed as we reached the end of the beach, I must admit I was starting to feel a little tense. Was something terribly wrong? Was he ill or in some kind of trouble? The tension became palpable as we approached the last few metres of sand. This was it, finally relaxed and ready to lay something important on me. He checked his phone, sighed, grappling with the right way to begin. He checked his second phone and then looked at me. He hesitated and then said

"We should walk back"
"Okay"

As we retraced our own sandy impressions bits finally started to tumble out. I heard about a women from work. About how she spoke and the things she liked. About how they exchanged coded messages by pinning up song lyrics in a shared office. About how she had become his friend. I had never seen him talk like this before. He was excited, but very very serious.

We talked about little else that night, mostly I listened as Jared described Jenna and how he felt about her. We got back that night and I discovered in the somewhat hasty buildup to this impromptu holiday I'd packed lots of beer but no bedding. I remember thinking that contrary to my previous recollection Jared was indeed proving to be the organised one. Amazingly Jared had packed two lovely fluffy pillows and two plump warm duvets. Even more Amazingly it turns out that Jared needs two pillows and two duvets to get to sleep. I reflected upon this curiosity as I shivered underneath my towel.

I spent the best part of a decade working with Jared. He impressed me during that time, in all those years I never once saw him ever refuse to take an opportunity to pull a sicky and do something more exciting instead. I have vague memories of our boss implementing a system for recording our lateness or indeed non arrival. He used to mark the work rota with tiny stars. I remember Jared asking him one day how many we had to collect to get a prize. A week ago Jared help his stag night, hearing his staff talk about him was amazing. Everyone of them that I spoke to talked in warm terms about a man who they never once saw refuse to do something he expected them to. I remember the first time I visited Jared's unit, it wasn't just the staff that eagerly gathered to talk to him, it was his clients as well. Jared makes a positive difference to the lives of those around him and they repay him with their trust and affection. I was left with a strong sense of how hard he works to ensure that his clients feel like they are part of a family, feel like they are wanted, feel like they have a home and don't ever feel each other too much.

Being a teacher means quite a lot to me. It means Easter holidays, it means half terms, it means summer holidays. And just like today it means standing in front of a group of people who are eager for you to shut up so that they can get drunk. As a teacher you spend so much time thinking about what other people are learning it becomes very easy to forget that you are also learning. Over the years of our friendship Jared has taught me such a lot. As one of my oldest friends he has taught me about loyalty and about tolerance and to his credit he has done it with a rare patience. Both his humour and care have helped me enormously. He also taught me that it is possible to take down and destroy eighty seven Conservative advertising boards in less than seven days. Admittedly it means working at night and on occasion having to revisit the same private property three nights running because they have got really good flood lights, a really barky dog and have used really long nails.

He was the first of our generation to become a father and seeing him rise to that responsibility has been awe inspiring. As a fairly recent convert to this calling I'm truly glad to have seen the love, support and imagination that are the hallmarks of Jared's relationship with his children. It's those same characteristics that I would use to describe his relationship with Jenna. When I see them together it's obvious that they are in love, it's clear that they revel in each others company. In fact it's clear that they are best friends. Modesty and custom dictate that for obvious reasons one is never to congratulate the bride, for it is the groom who is deemed to be the lucky one. The one who has found the lady of his dreams and somehow managed to persuade her to marry him. On this occasion I think I will break with tradition and congratulate both Jared and Jenna on being lucky enough to have found one another, brave enough to have pursued one another and clever enough to have married one another.

Ladies and gents to Jared and Jenna.